For date night this past week Kelly and I saw The Fault in Our Stars by Director Josh Boone. Not knowing anything more then it was a drama romance, it seemed like a good choice for our night out. Without giving anything away, it was a very emotionally moving story that we both connected to immensely. If you have read the highly acclaimed book, then you know it’s indeed a love story, but with a harsh dose of reality. One very important takeaway for me was that while life is largely about waking up to who we really are, the process of doing so is accelerated anytime love is thrown into the mix.
The Beatles were right. ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE
While love may be all you need, it surely remains an illusive thing for many people. Having been married now for many years, we know it’s about more than a fleeting feeling. We know love is work, and neglecting the work has costly consequences. Which brings me back to date nights. For most of our marriage they were nonexistent. Only when we realized divorce might be far more costly than a night out each week, did we conscientiously hire a babysitter and begin to relearn how to be a romantic couple.
As a licensed counselor I know many marriages benefit from counseling, couples retreats, and specific relationship work. But honestly, having engaged in all of these things, we have come to the realization that sometimes the answer is the one most often overlooked. You can spend your money attempting to solve problems, or you can invest your dough in having fun again as a couple, and learning why you fell in love in the first place. From experience, we can say without question that creating love is a lot more fun than working on why it’s not working.